Things 2016 Taught Me

Things 2016 Taught Me

Things I learned in 2016:

If you let your blog just sit silent for two years, the world still spins and good things happen, children grow, friendships develop, friendships are lost, love endures, and for some reason, “The Bachelor” survives amidst it all.

My mother was right: short hair really does look best on me.

It’s always good to try new things, and to push yourself beyond your comfort zone, but only if it’s something you want.

You can’t do it for someone else.

Guacamole is delicious.

I don’t know everything, even though I often think and act like I do. Being open to listening and learning is a strength, not a weakness.

“Simple” is just so good.

Saying no to nonsense is awfully good too, even if everyone else seems to say yes.

Go at your own pace.

I don’t do small talk. Really, I’m lousy at it. Nothing sounds more terrifying to me than having to walk up to a group and introduce myself or start a conversation. I’m just better at one-on-ones. Or sitting on my own couch watching That Touch of Mink.

Of course, you’re welcome to join me.

Never say never. Really: don’t do it. It just makes you look like a schmuck when you eventually do/say/become that thing you’d sworn high and low you wouldn’t.

I’m not a fingernail polish girl: way too much maintenance. I’m all over getting the toes done, though. In fact that’s a necessity.

Time won’t stop. I’ve noticed exactly one age spot near my right eye and all that smiling really will put a few crinkles on the face, though it’s totally worth it.

There are approximately 789 varieties of anti-aging lotions and eye creams, all promising to rid you of them. I may have tried a few.

If you lean back slightly when you wear high heels, the odds of you staying upright increase.

It’s better not to wear high heels. Stick to jeans and Toms.

The Boy—my boy—is taller, sillier, wiser than he ever was.

There are moments when he still has that little boy face, but more often than not, I wonder where that little guy went and who is the kid with the backpack thrown over one shoulder, the jacket unzipped on a 33-degree day (WHY won’t they zip?!), walking down my front walk toward the bus stop.

I don’t mind my getting older, but I seriously take offense to his aging. 10 is probably the most perfect age.

(This photo was taken during his forced Christmas card photo shoot. It’s the only one I thought he wouldn’t mind my posting since he’s not looking directly at the camera. I have to think of those things now that he’s older and has an opinion.)

I’m not good at routines, beyond the get-up-make-the-bed-drink-the-coffee-feed-the-boy-report-to-work one. So I can’t say how often I’ll be back here, just that I want to be back here more often than once-every-two-years.

Just like an old friend who spontaneously knocks on your door to say hello, which, 2016 has taught me, is a precious and very good thing.

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Whatchoo-Wish-You-Were-Wearin’ Wednesday: Autumn Fever

Whatchoo-Wish-You-Were-Wearin’ Wednesday: Autumn Fever

I’m so predictable, but I don’t care.

I realize it’s only August 20, but it’s close enough, people. Yes, I’ll be enjoying every last moment until school starts, but you know I’ve also noticed that the night air is cooler, the morning breeze is crisper, and my windows are open often enough that I’m now far more familiar with the sound of the cicadas than the whir of the air conditioner.

It’s a beautiful thing, the onset of fall, and I’m so ready for it.

Here’s to cozy sweaters and hot coffees!

Nothing I Don’t Love About Autumn

Grey Poncho / Paige Denim Jeans / CAbi’s Bisou ScarfSalvatore Ferragamo Wedge Shoes /

Stella & Dot Madison Tech Bag / Stella & Dot Silver Cady Wrap / Stella & Dot Cleopatra Studs

 

This week’s Stella & Dot highlights include the gorgeous Madison Tech bag and one of my new, easy-to-layer wraps, the Silver Cady. Love ’em? Click on over to my boutique for more info or message me with questions.

Want them for free?

Let’s talk Style Session or Trunk Show, ladies! All you need is a love for style, free stuff, and your circle of friends. I do the rest. It’s that easy!

 

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It’s All Our Perception

It’s All Our Perception

I was flipping through a magazine a few weeks back, and a quote I saw nearly bowled me over.

It was from Dr. Phil, a guy I used to really enjoying listening to—and probably still would—but I’d heard him utter the phrase a soft place to land once too often and had to let go.

Anyway, this time I found his words in print, and his wisdom once again struck me:

There is no reality, he saidjust perception.

Have you ever heard that before?! I hadn’t. A pretty simple thought, yet so profound.

It was the perfect explanation to something I’d been contemplating for a long time.

It all goes back to a conversation I’d had with a friend—a good friend—a year or so ago. This friend {Friend A} is an amazing gal: kind, generous, and fun, but she had a less-than-flattering impression of another gal I knew, whom I’ll refer to as Friend B.

Friend B is unbelievable.

She’s fantastic.

She’d do anything for anyone and is just as kind and wonderful as Friend A, though I’d say their personalities and strengths varied.

So HOW could one kind-and-wonderful person not recognize kind-and-wonderful in another? And how could I see something so drastically different than this woman whose opinion I valued and admired?

Perception.

We See Things As We Are

photo via Poster Inspired @ Etsy

There is no reality, just perception.

And Friend A had a slightly different perception of Friend B than I did.

We believe reality IS the way we see things, which, of course, is affected by our own {sometimes stubborn} thoughts on how things should be and how people should behave: our personal set of standards. We hold ourselves as the measure of whether someone’s up-to-par or not: if we perceive someone to be like us or we admire them for something we wish we were, then they earn our seal of approval. If we perceive them to be different in a way we don’t value, then they’re off our A list.

That’s not to point a finger at Friend A. We all do this at some point in time. Admit it.

I know I’m guilty.

An example: I met a gal in college who came off to me as snarky. She was curt and often sarcastic and standoffish, which, to someone who appreciates warm-and-fuzzy, was not cool.

I’m actually quite suspicious of folks who don’t hug or find it hard to crack a smile.

That first semester, we only had brief encounters, and my impression of her didn’t change. In my mind, the reality of it was that she was downright rude. Until one day in the spring, when fate—and our study schedules—had it that we sat at the same table at the library, and both ended up heading outside for a break at the same time. And we talked.

And then laughed a little bit. And talked some more.

And I realized she could smile, and had a great sense of humor beyond sarcasm.

And my perception changed.

She’d always had these facets to her personality. She didn’t just—at that moment—develop those qualities that I’d sworn she never had. I just perceived that they were lacking, and would’ve testified to that fact if I’d been asked just a day before.

I was so wrong.

And let me be honest, it’s happened time and time again: me judging someone in a certain way and being way off-base.

I think this concept should be taught early on, before we all grow old and so set in our ways. Say your prayers and please and thank you, look folks in the eye when you’re talking to them, early to bed/early to rise, and oh, there is no reality, just perception, because I’m 43, and—if it hadn’t been for that bold Texan—I never would’ve had that epiphany.

Of course, we don’t all have to like each other, and that’s okay, too. Friend A can not enjoy the company of Friend B and that doesn’t lessen either of them in any way. We all value different things in friends and can choose whom we surround ourselves with and include in our dear inner circle.

But maybe, we could all just take a step back before we decide to size someone up, and give folks the benefit of the doubt. And realize that there’s more than one way of seeing something. There’s more than our perception.

And just understanding that seems to me like a nice little gift to the world.

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